You’re nadgering your postle

As most ferret dinglers do

Hear a tale of Fred ‘The Capper’

Back in 1892.

Fred worked for the local brewer

As a tremble dockers mate

And the youngster learned to trusset

From old Dick aged 98.

He showed Fred how to gander-snap

A throstle on the spew

And for 40 years and 20 more

His dangler grew and grew.

He’d show the new lads how to ply

The wipple through the grate

But they never forgot old Dick who died

Whilst filling up a crate.

The lads chipped in for old Dick’s do

They did him proud they say

And his dangle-stick was put on show

Though most had worn away..

So Fred took on the mantle

And he trumbled through the years

Whilst brewing up the Shepherd Neame

And bottling the beers.

But then came the day Fred passed away

And a tressling age was he

At 110 he’d say even then

That he felt only 73.

His wife and his son, for he had only one

Joined the throng to remember the man

Who in spite of his size, for he was 8 foot 5

Scroped and dingled as none other can.

And so it went on, as each Fred came along

They would throstle their way through the grokkit

And the hops passing through got a nadgering too

On the way to the postle-grate-docket.

Now the latest in line is old Fred -89

And a ‘cappers’ son, tall and proud he

So while trumping your plan

Gander-snaps while ye can

In the future they might not come free.

Taste the keen IPA whilst you frolic away

Bishops Finger will tumble your grist

Double Stout you will find

Leaves the danglers behind

And will nobble your scrops round the twist.

But to tremble your plate try 1698

For it blips like a lick-spittle tram

“There is none to compare

To the Shepherd Neame’s fare!”

Take a tip from the old capper man.



copyright: David Carman.